This past tuesday contained a first for the Broughton Clan. We, by we I mean I , dropped Eli off at daycare. Now I know that there are thousands of braver women and men in the world who have walked the hallowed halls of the daycare for years and emerged unscathed.
So what…this is my blog…my story….
Anyways, I experienced something on the way to daycare tuesday that was a new emotion.
To be honest the whole daycare issue had not sunk in yet. Andrea and I have been tirelessly trying to get Eli on a schedule so I have not really thought about what it meant to, “Drop him off.” Andrea has had a few moments of tears. We have had many conversations about her staying home, which sadly can not happen right now. So when I set out to daycare tuesday I was perfectly fine.
Until I got half way there. All of a sudden I felt sick. I thought for a moment it was something that I had eaten for breakfast, then firgured it was just a random act of nausia but as I turned onto 1960 to make the final decent to daycare I realized…
I was upset.
It hit me that I was about to leave my child in someone else’s hands. Someone who could never love my little, “squirt,” as I call him, as much as I do. Suddenly the drive became like the final accent into Mordor.
I never knew how hard it would be to hand your child over to someone else. I also never loved anything as much as I love him. I tried really hard to be that cool dad. I didn’t want to show the ladies in the nursery that I was hurting inside. I didn’t want them to know that there was a part of me that wanted to run away from them as if I were saving Eli from evil grasps of, “He Who Must Not Be Named!”
Im sure my eyes gave it all away. In fact I am pretty sure my whole posture proved I was nervous. Thankfully the ladies in the nursery were pros. There calming words were Pepto for my soul.
To be honest I really didnt cry. As I pulled away my eyes watered a bit but I fought off losing it. I knew that he was safe. I knew that we had prayed over where to take Eli and was confident that this was the place.
But it still didnt take away the sick feeling in my stomach.
So I am curious…how did all the other parents out there survive their first trips to daycare? What were your feelings? How did get through it?