I want to be clear…
I sometimes consider myself the worst father alive. There are times that I look up to heaven and ask God, “Are you sure you wanted ME to be Eli’s dad?”
I had another one of those moments a few days ago…
For weeks now my wife and I have been telling Eli to NOT Lean back in his chair while eating. We have done our best to inform him of the terror of FALLING backwards.
After weeks of continual parental warning I thought we were making progress.
I had just gone to help my wife finish the dishes. All of a sudden I heard this loud SLAM! followed by CRYING! As I looked up I noticed that both Eli and his chair were NOWHERE to be seen. My heart stopped and I ran to him. I picked him up. I soothed his aching soul.
He cried for MOMMA!
I handed Eli to Drea. It was a struggle to not become angry. I realized I didn’t have compassion for my hurt child but was angry that HE DIDNT listen to our warnings. Drea took Eli into his bedroom and rocked him till he fell asleep. Frustrated and annoyed I continued cleaning the dishes.
In my anger I wanted to have more sympathy. I wanted more compassion. I wanted to have the desire to swoop him in my arms and tell him its going to be alright. It just wasn’t there.
Then it hit me…..
I do the same thing to God. He has reminded me over and over in His Word of how I should live. He warns me constantly of the dangers of sin and its consequences. But I still push back. I still knock myself over. I still cry out for compassion and forgiveness.
And He is faithful to forgive….without hesitation
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins
and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”(1 John 1:9 ESV)
I stood for a moment at our small kitchen sink and scrubbed pans. Standing there, hands covered in soap and suds, I realized how thankful I am that God is a better Father than me.
Because Eli fell down once and MAY have learned his lesson
but in life…..
I’ve made an ART of FALLING