Last Sunday, my bride and I celebrated 12 years of marriage. Because of what I do for a living and because of Ole Scruffy, we were not able to celebrate it on the actual day, which is fine. After you have made the 10yr mark, dates (literally, not going on them!) are less important. What is important is a clear acknowledgement and intentional planning. What you may not know about me is that I am a card carrying procrastinator. This is something I plan on working on one day. One of the things that frustrates my wife to no end is that I have the keen ability to put things off with skill and grace. This sometimes bleeds into my romantic life.
In my heart, I am a hopeless romantic. In my praxis, I am like an overweight binge watcher of Netflix, who loves those romantic gestures from Ross but can’t bring himself to get off the couch and them happen in real life. I’ve learned the hard way that this does not lead to any great Marvin Gay moments. I typically have great ideas. The problem is, I find myself to be more of an idea person than I am a, “nuts and bolts,” kind of a guy. What am I saying….I have bad follow through. I am just not clutch. When it comes to putting a plan together, I suck at it.
In the past it has led to some really hard conversations with my wife. She has a very sharp brain and can tell when I am fishing to prove I have a plan.
Over the past two years I have tried my darnedest to up my game. I have worked hard to battle my procrastination. It’s been grueling but worth it. I love my wife too much to keep frustrating her. Plus, its get really lonely sleeping on the couch! (J.K. We don’t go to bed mad at each other. It’s a promise we made before marriage and we fight hard to keep.)
Over six months ago, I began working on our anniversary. My goal, a weekend getaway at a B&B. I wanted to run off to Cleveland or Indianapolis. I wanted to spend a few days hanging with my Bride. I wanted her to know that I loved her and she was worth making a plan for. Then Scruffy came into our lives. That guy seems to mess everything up.
After the diagnoses, I wasn’t comfortable planning a long weekend because I didn’t know how my Bride would handle treatments. Unfortunately, I had to wait to put a plan in place. I watched her patiently. I wanted to see what time frame would work the best. The whole time I am watching the days drift by. Soon, it was clutch time. I knew that if I didn’t have a plan in place by mid-July, I would be toast. While my wife is weaker because of Scruffy, she has never been the one with loads of grace. (I’ve said that to her face. I am the softy in the family.) I could feel in my bones that it would be a major blow to her if I didn’t do something.
So, I bit the bullet and planned a one night stay across the river.
I had to do some really shady things to make it all work out. For instance, I lied to my wife. I know, I know…lying is sin. (Side note, I preached on that during the scheme…I was convicted…j.k.) I told her we couldn’t go out to eat on the Friday before our anniversary because our babysitter had family stuff. I could see in my wife’s eyes the disappointment and the desire to say, “You always do this, you never plan ahead.” My soul smirked. If only she knew! I also had to secretly text her BFF. I don’t typically text women. I know that’s not very hip or progressive of me but I want to protect my wife’s heart and my marriage. There is a selected groups of ladies who I converse with and my wife has total access to my phone. However, I felt icky texting her friend and hiding them from my wife. I give her enough reason to kick me to the curb, I don’t want shady hallway texting and deleted conversations to be one of them!
Anyways, all that to say…..tonight we celebrate our anniversary at a cool B&B near us. I found one that is a renovated old church. Kind of ironic if you know what I do! The plan is to grab bite to eat at Nada. Nada is a wonderful Mexican restaurant nestles in the city. It’s a nice reminder of home! We will go to see Luminocity. It’s a fun laser light show that we have never seen. After that, we will enjoy a night sans kiddo. The goal for Saturday morning is to eat some food at the B&B and then sweat bullets as we worry if Jason Bourne will make it through another adventure. I am a bit worried, he’s getting older and his body just ain’t what it used to be! I can not wait.
One thing I love about my wife is that we are best friends. We are completely different people. We see the world through totally different glasses but we fit. Somehow we are a great match. Actually, I am pretty convinced she is paying some penance from a past life. I am her Purgatory before she can actually make it to Heaven. Either way, I am thankful she chose me. I know that tonight will be a small glimpse of normalcy. Tonight will give us a chance to breathe. Tonight is just a another step closer on our journey to rid her body of Ole Scruffy and set our eyes forward as we #LookTowardstheSea.