As many know, we have two more chemotherapy treatments left. This means that it is now time to begin the discussion of surgery. Yesterday, Andrea got an opportunity to meet with our cancer surgeon to discuss all the details of what is to come. Unfortunately, for the first time since this all began, I was unable to attend the meeting. I honestly didn’t want to miss, but I had an important meeting that I could not miss. I was on the verge of backing out when Andrea told me that she would be alright, and could handle it on her own. I hated not going, but unfortunately I had no choice.
We found out yesterday that we are looking at surgery sometime in November. This will all take place if the scans and tests all come back with positive results. While we both expect the result to be great, it is hard not to live in the land of , “what if’s.” I know that I shouldn’t think negatively, or worry to0 much, but it is hard for me. It’s hard for me to not worry about what the tests will say, or what will happen during surgery.
I understand clearly that I cannot control the future. It has become evident that I do not control the direction of my life. In the blink of an eye, everything has changed. However, I find myself longing for some form of consistency. I want some type of control. I am not usually a control freak, but at the moment, I wish I could control just a small bit of my life.
On a positive note, the surgeon thinks they can operate and leave minimal scarring. This was a welcomed bit of information. Apparently, the doctor thinks they can get everything out and leave a very small reminder on my bride’s body. Hopefully, once reconstruction is complete, it will be hard to notice there was even surgery done. I can see how for my wife that news could bring a sigh of relief. Personally, the scarring is a minor issue.
The tough part will come after surgery. We are being told that once the surgery is complete, we will go through a very aggressive round of radiation. Apparently, we will have to go in for treatments Monday – Friday for about 6 weeks. Six weeks is a long time. However, if we are lucky, maybe Andrea can come out of radiation with some new superpower or at least some form of heightened spidey sense. I am not keeping my hopes up.
During and after radiation, Andrea will be recovering from surgery. At this point, we have no idea how long that will take. We have had some people tell us it can take up to 9 weeks to get fully recovered. That is going to be a long time to lay around and watch movies. With an active 4yr old, who will be 5 by that point, and the fact that Andrea hates sitting around, recovery could drag. I am already thinking through how I can help pass the time and keep our little man occupied. There may be a lot of random trips to McDonalds to give momma a chance to rest.
While we still have a long way to go, we are thankful for how smooth things have progressed. Not every day has been easy. There have been some long nights staying up late after chemo, and painfully long days of resting. However, all in all, we are doing well. I am thankful for the thoughts and prayers that are being sent out from everyone and continue to look forward with hope, and expectation, as we try hard not to think about Ole Scruffy and #LookTowardstheSea.