Over the past few months, I have attempted to be very honest. In most of my post I have tried to talk about my families struggles through this whole bout with Scruffy without delving too much into the arena of myself. However, this post is going to be predominantly about me. I know, very vain.
So here’s the deal. My whole adult life I have struggled with my weight. You may be thinking, “Well sir, what seems to be your problem?” The answer is quite simple. I love food. Food is the place I go for comfort. Food is the place I go to relax. Food is the place I go when I am happy, sad, mad, angry and even when I don’t care. I also go to food as a way to pass the time.
As long as I can remember I have struggled to fight my love for food. My biggest struggle has always been Sunflower seeds.No, I have never played baseball, and no I have never dipped tobacco. Okay, I did try dipping once. It didn’t turn out well. Needless to say, I got sick and sat in the corner of the room for over an hour cursing my life.
My friends in college joked about it being a very serious addiction. I literally could eat them all day long. I am not kidding. I mean ALL DAY LONG. I did kick the habit for a few years, but in the recent months, I’ve gotten back on the seeds. Over the past year, I have tried really hard to get my weight off. My wife and I began a very intentional workout schedule and I made the grueling, painful, even agonizing decision to eat better. Everyone tells me if I do it right I will soon lose my love of cheeseburgers, fries, and soda. O wait, I forgot to mention I love candy. Well, I worked at it for almost a year and the demon that is fast food haunted me night and day.
Over the past year, I have tried really hard to get my weight off. My wife and I began a very intentional workout schedule and I made the grueling, painful, even agonizing decision to eat better. Everyone told me if I did it right, I would soon lose my love of cheeseburgers, fries, and soda. Well, I worked at it for almost a year and the demon that is food haunted me night and day.
After almost a year of battling the bulge, I had dropped about 10 pounds. I was actually getting to a place that I didn’t mind working out. It still was a choice every night to put on my swanky workout clothes and get sweaty, but I was being consistent. Then we met Scruffy.
Suddenly I lost all motivation. I lost all control. I quickly regressed back to my old patterns and lifestyles. Like anyone struggling with addiction, when stress hit the fan, I caved. In a matter of a month, I gained all my weight back and then some. And that brings me to today.
I have decided I want to make a clear change in my life. I don’t want to be controlled by my bad habits and uncontrollable urges anymore. I want to take back my health. I want to fight my issue with the same strength and endurance my wife is using to kick Ole Scruffy to the curb. But, I need accountability.
So, I have decided to make one post a week about my journey. Along with sharing my journey, I have come up with a plan. For starters, I am going to go walking in the mornings. Now, I hate exercise, but I love walks alone. It gives me time to think and listen to audio books. I also plan on getting back to doing BeachBody workouts. While most of the time they angered me, I know they work.
I won’t post any pictures of my current body shape. Honestly, it’s not something I am ready to do. My hope is that when I lose the weight I can take some before and after photos. I think it’s better to rejoice at the conclusion of this journey. While my wife is battling cancer, I am going to battle my body as well. The good thing is, I know we will do this together. I know we will both continue to fight hard as we keep our heads towards the setting sun and #LookTowardstheSea